Lost? Part 2

I felt my legs become weak, and I sank down onto the pavement, covering my head with my hands. I'd never experienced anything like this before. And I never wanted to again.

Jayson had grabbed onto a streetlight pole and was breathing heavily. I was afraid he was going to die from hyperventilating. All I could do was hug him. I was too scared to even try to tear up.

"Zoe! Chad! Help me here!" I called out, trying to make sense of the situation spinning in front of me right now.

"In a minute, Maria! We're in Philadelphia, and wherever we are in Philadelphia, we sure aren't where you would know how to get around! I can't believe you're a native to this city and yet you can't even see your way out of here! YOU IDIOT!!" Zoe screamed at me, and then turned her back to me so she could try to get a signal from Chad's cell.

"H...hey." Was all I could muster. While I usually am ok with Zoe's harsh words, now it just burned through me, and left a place in my heart. It was the same feeling as the dank streets of winding Philadelphia, cold and empty. Meaningless.

"Hey WHAT?! We're all stuck here! I wish you knew more about the place you were born in! Just what kind of Philadelphian are you anyway? Y'know what, stay out of my way for now! I can only do so much! Make yourself useful by tending to Jayson and LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FOOLISH, MORONIC GIRL!!"'

Zoe's words were more surprising than ever.

I felt alone. And hurt.

Cold.

"I'm sorry." I replied, hanging my head so I could hide the oncoming tears.

"Sorry for what?" Zoe asked me this more calmly, but I could tell she was irritated.

I shook my head. I wanted to cry so badly now, but Zoe would just yell at me some more, and make the tears even harder to stop.

"You better be. You, you and everything about you. I'm so pissed off. Be glad you're one of my best friends, or you would be getting it." She threatened.

I was scared! Zoe was just making it worse. I wish I could tell her to stop, but I was more and more afraid of her now. I didn't want to make her furious at everything I did.

I wish I could just tell her.

Chad motioned us to walk down the damp streets, since it had misted during the train ride here and everything felt heavy in the air. Oncoming cars shouted with impatience, and the beeps were ringing in my beyond confused head now. I felt sick. I wanted to stop.

Holding onto Jayson's hand was the only comfort I had. His battery had died, and Chad's phone had a low signal. I could only get the answering machine to my home phone, probably since everybody was asleep at home.

Why didn't I feel wanted? Or needed?

Please, God, tell me why.

"Maria, talk to me. Please." Jayson looked at me, his voice high and wavy.

"No." I replied. "If I can't get through to Zoe, then I can't say anything anymore."

"Why?" He asked. He sounded like a scared little boy.

"Because she's my friend. And...even if I'm treated harshly, I can't betray her." This is when the tears became too hard to control. "Because...I love her. She's my friend."

He nodded his head and kept his focus on the road ahead of us, never looking back, just to keep going forward.

If you looked back, you would be lost. Lost forever.

But, I don't think anyone would care.
****~~~~****~~~~****
We stopped to take a rest.

Since I was crying the whole time we were walking, I felt better. I could take a break from the exhausting labor of trying to go further. I wanted that.

Jayson and Chad were huddling together to keep warm. They were the closest tonight, since Zoe and me were the farthest apart, as far as we could possibly be from each other.

I sat down to think. I was glad my long hair, which gave off my chesnut shaded locks in the nightlight on the streets, would be the focus for pedestrians walking by, and not my silver falling tears. Those were falling brightly, shining, like new fallen rain, like crystal jewels. Though they didn't espressed beauty, they expressed sadness.

I walked over to where Chad was standing, since Zoe was preferring to alienate herself from the rest of the group, to stare out onto the wide beyondness of the closed city stores.

"Chad, can you hear me?"

"Yeah." He looked down at me, since he's half a foot taller then I am.

"Ok." I averted my gaze and looked down.

"Were you crying?" He interrogated me. His no crap voice was solid steel. I knew he knew.

"Yeah." I still wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I don't blame you. Zoe's being unreasonably cruel to you, and to anyone tonight."

"Isn't that just the way she is? She's my friend, and I accept her for all she is."

"To a certain degree. But she's never this mean unless she...." He let his voice trail on.

"Huh? Unless she what?"

He motioned me to take a look for myself. I did.

Zoe had her head buried down into her crossed arms while she leaned onto the side of the concrete steps. Her shoulders were shaking, and she wouldn't look up.

I felt so bad. Why didn't I realize it before?

"Zoe." I said quietly, and crept up onto her, in case she wanted some warning. "Zoe."

She didn't respond. All I did was hug her, tight, so I could let her know I was there.

She was mean to me for a reason. This whole time she was trying to be strong for all of us, but she's only human. She was just trying to keep up her tough exterior so nobody would know or even question her.

Sobbing, she looked at me and cried, "What are you doing to me, you dork?" Her tears kept falling, and she herself was falling apart.

"Just cry like you need to. I don't care how tough you need to be, right now, I know you need to, so just DO IT!!" And with that, I cried like I did before. With no end to the spilling feelings in sight.

I guess she knew that too, since we sobbed together, knowing something more than what we knew before.

We could connect even through tears.
****~~~~****~~~~****
I finally got through to my parents, and they found us.

Turns out they were trying to find us all along.

When we were riding back home, my Mom and Chad's Dad lectured us about what we should have done and did we even know how worried they were about us.

Zoe turned her head to me and gave me a quick smile. I took that as a thanks.

"You're lucky. Nobody ever questions you when you break down, since you do it so often. But me, I can't. Sometimes I wish I could."

All I could do was nod. "It's ok, Zo. I'm just glad you feel better."

She smiled and in a few minutes, dozed off.

Chad and Jayson had done that a while ago, and since it was almost 3 AM and I was pretty tired myself, I decided to waltz away to Dreamland myself.

You're welcome, Zoe Alex Brickett.